Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Randomize