Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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