I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
