i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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