definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
