I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
