I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
