You're completely useless in the revolution.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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