I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
as a side note pls kill me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
