There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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