I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
