don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
