The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
