The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
