OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
