I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
