There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
