If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
