i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
