I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
