you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
