Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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