i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
