well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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