i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
