Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
