ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
