You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He passed out mid-signature
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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