I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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