I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
