that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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