I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
