K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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