I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I touched a dick in church today
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
