we have pet lesbian snakes
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
