Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
