Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
