she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
