i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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