what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We were destined to go to rehab together
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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