Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So many bounce houses so little time
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
