we're blogging at a bar
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
