No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
