I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
