I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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