windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
