You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
