I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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