Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Mom said you looked used
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
