your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
