I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
