Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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