Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
